Listen

Listen

When I ask you to listen to me
and you start giving me advice,
you have not done what I asked.

When I ask you to listen to me
and you begin to tell me ‘why’ I shouldn’t feel that way,
you are trampling on my feelings.

When I ask you to listen to me
and you feel you have to do something to solve my problems,
you have failed me, strange as that may seem.

Listen! All I ask is that you listen;
Don't talk, nor do – just hear me.

Advice is cheap; 20 cents will get you
both Dear Abby and Billy Graham
in the same newspaper.
And I can do for myself – I’m not helpless
Maybe discouraged and faltering,
but not helpless.

When you do something for me, that I can
and need to do for myself,
you contribute to my fear
and inadequacy.

But when you accept as a simple fact
that I do feel what I feel,
no matter how irrational,
then I can quit trying to convince you
and get about the business of understanding
what’s behind this irrational feeling.

When that’s clear, the answers are obvious
and I don’t need advice.
Irrational feelings make sense when we
understand what’s behind them.

Perhaps that’s why prayer works, sometimes,
for some people;
because God is mute, and doesn’t give advice
or try to ‘fix’ things,
God just listens, and lets you work it out
for yourself.

So please listen, and just hear me,
and if you want to talk,
wait a minute for your turn,
and I’ll listen to you.

Anonymous

gelezen in de Gay Pride kerkdienst op 3 augustus 2014